CARMEN'S UNCOMMON COMMENTARY
I used to write every day for a newspaper. Today I write every day on behalf of a police department. But no matter how aggressively I gobble up column inches or bandwidth, Carmen Cerrano always has more to say.
Really, I should have started blogging years ago. The internet has suffered from the lack of my commentary for too long.
Carmen's Columns
Meet Carmen
Welcome to my online home. I’m Carmen Cerrano, star of Bob Sweet’s book, The Birthday Murders. I spent most of my career writing for newspapers, but now I work as Director of Information Strategy and Community Management for the Seattle Police Department. No matter what the job title sounds like or who pays the wage, my main responsibility is telling stories. Can you imagine a better gig?
Bob tells me I’m a fictional character, but what does he know? Cruise around this website and check out my blog to find out just how real I am.
First Post
Order what you want -- even if it's not on the menu
Chefs mean well. They devise creative combinations, mix sweet and savory, fill the plate with contrasting colors to enhance the experience. I appreciate their skill and effort, but even the best chefs don’t know what I like.
For instance, I hate mushrooms, mostly because of their slimy, snot-like consistency. I prefer my broccoli roasted, not boiled. And I’ll never understand why anyone prefers potatoes mashed rather than baked. So if my menu selection includes broccoli or potatoes, I always ask how the kitchen prepares it before making the commitment. When you read “no substitutions” on a menu, treat it as a suggestion, not a rule. If you want your chicken marsala without mushrooms, then hold those mushrooms.
Do waiters give me the stinkeye? Sometimes. Do chefs storm out to the dining room to argue with me? Not often, but it happens. Do I care?
Not one bit.
Remember that when you go out to eat, you’re paying for a service. The restaurant exists to provide you with an enjoyable dining experience, and if it won’t provide the meal you desire, vote with your feet. Seattle offers plenty of dining alternatives.
About The Book
My name is Bob Sweet, and I wrote The Birthday Murders. The character of Carmen Cerrano is an amalgamation of several powerful women I know, and as I wrote, she jumped off the page and took on a life of her own. So I thought, why not give Carmen a blog? After all, she has a lot to say.